www.notalwaysright.com
One of the best sites to kill time! Basically it's a website dedicated to displaying the "stupidity", the "ignorance", and the plain non-sense that people encounter in their lives. I'm sure we've all had these moments, but some of these dialog rolls are just too ridiculous! Reading through some just have me cracking up at my computer and thankfully there's no one around me to wonder what i'm laughing at haha. If you haven't already gone to the website here's some of my favorites among many others (i've gone through like 50 pages of this stuff so many are good)...
1
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I need to return this d*** camera.”
Me: “Sure, was it not working?”
Customer: “I just don’t want it, okay?”
Me: “Okay. Have you opened the box yet?”
Customer: “Why does that matter?”
Me: “Well, as the sticker on the box says, if the box is opened and you return it, I have to charge you a restocking fee.”
Customer: “Oh. No… no, it hasn’t been opened.”
(I look and the box has been clearly opened, with a torn seal.)
Me: “Uh… are you sure it hasn’t been opened?”
Customer: ”LOOK! ARE YOU CALLING ME A F***ING LIAR? Where is your manager? I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars here and this is how I’m treated?!”
Me: “Ma’am, if you just–”
Customer: “THESE PEOPLE CALL CUSTOMERS LIARS! DON’T SHOP HERE!”
Me: “Ma’am, I believe you! I will return it!”
Customer: “That’s right you will!”
Me: “Can I see your receipt?”
Customer: “It’s in the box.”
2
(At our library, the computers are all self-sign up. All you have to do is type in your name and library card number. This is clearly posted on the side of the monitor. In walks a young woman and her boyfriend.)
Young woman: “Can you help me with this?”
Me: “What’s the problem?”
Young woman: “I don’t know what to do.”
Me: “The instructions are on the side of the monitor.”
Young woman: “But why can’t you tell me how to do it?”
Me: “Because it’s SELF-SIGN UP.”
Young woman: “But I need help!”
Me: “All you have to do is type in your name and library card number.”
Young woman: “But do I have to read the screen?”
Me: *confused* “Of… course. The screen tells you when to type in your information. You have to read the screen.”
Young woman: “BUT I DIDN’T COME INTO THE LIBRARY TO READ!”
Young woman’s boyfriend: *turns abruptly and walks out the door*
3
Me: “Welcome sir, did you get…”
(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)
Me: “… everything?”
Man: “I guess so.”
Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”
Man: “Alright, let’s go get some more.”
(About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)
Man: “Alright, I think this is enough.”
(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)
Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”
Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”
4
(I’ve just spent about 10 minutes answering fairly standard questions from a customer about an iPod. Then, they asked this one…)
Customer: “Oh, before you leave I have one more question!”
Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”
Customer: “Will the iPod get heavier if I put more songs on it?”
Me: “No…?”
(I was so dumbfounded I didn’t realize how stupid the question actually was until 10 minutes later.)
5
Me: “Hello, technical support, how can I help?”
Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong with my computer. Can you tell me?”
Me: “Well… can you explain what’s wrong?”
Customer: “Your job is to tell me what’s wrong.”
Me: “Yes, but unless you help me I can’t tell you what is wrong.”
Customer: “Why? Can’t you guess what’s wrong?”
(I have decided a this point whatever is wrong will be something stupid.)
Me: “Okay, maybe you can’t turn your computer on because it hasn’t got any power.”
Customer: *angrily* “DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?”
(Suddenly, the customer calms down.)
Customer: “Sorry, you were wrong. It’s plugged in and the light is green. Can you guess what’s wrong? It’s still black on the screen.”
Me: “Well, is your screen on?”
Customer: “Yes, I just said it was. It’s just black!”
Me: “Right click.”
Customer: “Hey, it worked… oh, it was a screensaver. Couldn’t you have guessed it was that at the start?”
Me: *thud thud thud*
Customer: “What was that?”
Me: “Guess.”
Win!
