Commitment is what
Transforms the promise into reality.
It is the words that speak
Boldly of your intentions.
And the actions which speak
Louder than the words.
It is making the time
When there is none.
Coming through time
After time after time,
Year after year after year.
Commitment is the stuff
Character is made of;
The power to change
The face of things.
It is the daily triumph
Of integrity over skepticism.
Commitment is a huge decision with any aspect of our lives. In the realm of relationships (vs commitments in life that are minor such as committing to cooking a good meal, sleeping more than 8 hours, cleaning your room, etc) commitment is a very strong "action". As the above passage said "Commitment is what, Transforms the promise into reality." which is basically saying that a commitment is an action that shows someone else that we are prepared to take on any hardships/stumbles that commitment may have in store for the future. So when looking at relationships, and we're talking about serious relationships, it is one of the most significant point in the relationship where each party commits to each other. One fallacy in this concept is that in a relationship it's very hard to tell when one person is ready to move to that crucial stage. Though i suppose it depends on each couple and how open they are to each other about such feelings... But in the very early stages of any relationship or even the middle stages there's always a hesitation in commitment. Both males and females have consistently pulled a "I'm not ready for commitment" card on their significant other. So basically they're not ready to think about that far into the future with the person they are with. This is pretty much the worse thing in a relationship because at this point one person has "confessed" their commitment to the other and the party that's "not ready for commitment" has just broke the other person's heart... then it gets all gushy and uneasy with each other... and it's probably really awkward haha... Of course there's the opposite extreme that they are both willing to "wait" it out for each of them to get on the same "level" as the other... but come on... when does that EVER happen in a relationship. I believe that if two people in a relationship are growing differently in their lives and they are not at the same stage it is very hard for them to take things to a serious level without one of them questioning the others intent of the relationship, which ends up in "breakup" usually or a very long waiting period before getting serious. I'm not saying this to be pessimisstic, but as a general rule, we should probably be careful of which relationships we get ourselves into. In this day and age i'm fairly confident... 65% of people know the warning signs of a relationship that won't work out. It's just a matter of time before they realize it however (infatuation blinds people in relationships, etc etc). And i am also definitely not saying that when we're involved with someone to break it off if we think they're not on the same level as us, but it will definitely be a speed bump in the future. The early works (dating) of relationships are merely getting to know someone else anyways so what's the harm in that? None i'd say, some may say it's leading the other person on, but in the end if you don't think it's the right thing to pursue, they can't say anything about it really because you two haven't commited to each other.
Now the action of commitment is hard and almost impossible to define, but i was engaged in a conversation once that really had me thinking it was the right mindset for commitments. It goes to say that the amazing 3 words of "I love you" is basically your commitment to that other person. However, this is in a very traditional sense, which is very hard to find these days. You here a lot in bad break ups where one party will say "I thought he/she loved me..." or "He/she said he/she loved me!" and... well... that just goes to show that whenever the couple started saying they loved each other was not the right time or it was said in a very superficial sense (without them knowing of course). Love is a very strong word. Sure you can say you love sushi, driving, shopping, etc, but as i'm sure you know those are all objects of this world (exception: we Love God and our families! =D) and not your significant other. I suppose i'll categorize saying "I love you" to a signficant other is almost like saying that you're going to marry them, it's that strong of a word. And the actual marriage is merely a public announcement that you and that person are together... forever! This idea is a very conservative view on commitments. But if you really sit down and think about a commitment and apply it to our society today. We should try to stray away from what we observe as bad practices of using the word Love. It's just thrown around too much and it comes out of people's mouth's as if it's saying you like taking long showers. So then where can we distinguish between what's genuine love and the superficial love we throw around? And that's where we can make the difference... in relationships. Just to accept the societal standard that we can "love" almost anything we see on a day to day basis, we should slow things down when in a relationship and save those precious words for the right day and time. Don't let it come off as something "natural" to say. It should be a VERY well thought out decision by you, for you to commit to your significant other. Relationships fail a lot where the "Love" is brought into the picture, it makes breakups harder and it gives people the false sense of security, if said at the wrong time in a relationship.
So the whole 'love' thing is not the only view on the idea of commiting to a significant other i'd say. I don't really want to go into any crazy details on the other ways two people can be committed to each other. In my mind the idea of "I love you" as a commitment driven phrase in a relationship is a very realistic issue in our lives. There have been too many hearbreaks in this world to prove that saying "I love you" as a superficial/casual thing to say to your significant other leads down the road to which there are many pot holes and speed bumps... figuratively. In the end, no one will ever know if it was the right time to say "I love you" to their significant other... that's the catch in it all! I suppose I could be just encouraging you, as the reader, to be careful in your decisions and what you get yourself involved in. There are too many aspects to consider when going into a relationship and to be honest we never get the time to sit down and think things through to put things into perspective for ourselves...
Life is life and we all live it.
End note :: This was a pretty hard topic to write about in just one post without rambling on forever (and to save my brain from overloading, it's been a long day..)
DYung
8/9/09
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